Your mother approaches with a furrowed brow. Will she ask about your job? Your relationship situation? Your children? Or worse - your weight? In preparation, you reach for a second helping of mashed potatoes, or pie, or ice cream or something to armor yourself against what is about to follow - yikes! Feelings!
Once you've endured that conversation, pretty soon you are being quizzed by your perfect cousin about your life and your choices and isn't it easier just to take another piece of pumpkin pie? Yes! It is easier to eat which is why many of us make it through the holidays with fork in hand. We all have our issues with our families but we don't have to turn them into issues with our bodies.
One is enough
Just because you are not going to eat as an emotional band-aid doesn't mean you don't get a taste of blueberry pie! You are allowed to enjoy every part of holiday eating in a way that works for you. One good strategy is to see the whole meal as a treat. Rather than powering through appetizers to go on to eat a heavy meal and then squeeze in desert, you can take it slow. Enjoy just one small appetizer. Take into account that you want desert after the holiday turkey comes out of the oven. Envision all the components together. Can everything you're eating fit on one standard plate? Leave room for desert by taking smaller portions of the main meal. Of course, it's not wise to eat this big everyday, but you can certainly enjoy a feast every now and then.
Make a deal
The worst part about being a prisoner of relatives? Not knowing when, if ever, it will come to an end. If you know being around your family triggers big emotional upset, give yourself a start and end time. If you need to, tell yourself you only have to spend two hours at your holiday event. That way, if you are having a good time (hey, it could happen!) and you want to stay longer, it's a bonus. If you feel like even an hour is going to trigger you to overeat, make yourself a deal ("For one hour I can have as much fruit as I want!"). That way, when you just have to reach for something, you've already chosen a healthy option. Asserting boundaries with yourself will only make everyone involved happier, whether they realize it or not.
Trigger happy
If you are prepared for the pang in your stomach when you pull up to Grandma's house, you're going to have a head start on the remedy. Here's a clue, it's not whipped cream! The answer comes in centered, accepting, observation. This means you can experience your feelings without becoming your feelings. For example, your hair stands on end when your sister arrives with your ex-boyfriend, instead of downing a whole bowl of chips with artichoke dip, watch the situation from above as though you are watching a play unfold. Feelings will pass through you and new feelings will come. Though you might feel like you are going to die, you're not.
Finally, don't get down if you do stuff yourself. Pick yourself up off the dining room floor and give yourself a second chance to eat reasonably. Because if you stuff all your feelings, you'll miss out on the good ones too.
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