Having trouble communicating with the men in your life? Whether it's your boyfriend, husband, best friend, a co-worker or even your dad that's perplexing you (or being perplexed by you!), there are some things you need to know if you want to communicate effectively with the opposite sex.
Think singularly
It's been scientifically proven that men are better at focusing on one thing at a time whereas women are multi-taskers. We women may want to think this makes our thought patterns superior, but really, both ways of thought have their positives and negatives. There's a reason why we can come off as scatter brained or harried - we're thinking about too many things. But oftentimes, the simple approach is the most effective.
AskMen.com suggests that we try giving men directions one at a time. Their example: "if you want him to go into the kitchen and get you a cup of tea, make it a two-part request (this also applies to when you are in bed with him)." Sound a little too simple? It probably is, but if you're nice about it, you'll most likely get results. Likewise, respond to his questions without making a big deal about it. He'll understand you better and you'll be more likely to get what you need in return.
Choose words carefully
As we've mentioned before, men tend to use words to inspire action whereas women communicate to bond. This is why, according to one guy/gal guru, that when Man A gets insulted by Man B, Man A automatically assumes Man B wants to fight. That same go to guy also notes that if you tell Man A, B or C that you like his shirt, "he thinks, "Cool -she wants to jump my bones!" This may sound like something you don't want to hear (god, does that mean I can't say anything nice to any guy ever again?!), but use it to your benefit. If there's a cutie you've been trying to coerce at the coffee shop or in your office building, offering him a compliment is a good way to give him a hint without seeming forward. And if you want to get in good with the guy you've got, try the same. Everybody likes to feel good about themselves - guys are no exception!
Silence can be a virtue
University of Houston psychologists investigated why men keep things bottled up and found it was to maintain power in a relationship. In other words, when they don't talk, their partner is left guessing. The guys at AskMen say that if you do the same, he'll be putty in your hands, which makes sense because we all know that men rarely want to talk about the relationship! This doesn't mean they're disinterested, it means that he thinks everything is just fine. If he didn't, he'd leave. In short, if your man didn't love you, in his mind, he wouldn't be with you, so he just wishes you'd stop asking him to talk about his reasons!
However, there's another side to the silence coin. And here's where we women get to utilize our ability to see complexities. A man will say, "I'm fine," even when undergoing Chinese water torture, and obviously everything is not always kosher. What we need to remember is that weakness (or admitting there's a problem) implies vulnerability in a man's mind, and thereby, men are programmed not to offer any sign of it.
Evolutionary psychologist David Buss says showing vulnerability comes off as lack of status, which is just not cool to men. The last thing a guy wants is for you to think he's a wimp and can't solve his problems without you coming to his rescue. If you want to know what's really on his mind (when you have good reason to suspect there is actually something up), reassure him that you see him as strong and that to you, strength is not measured by how perfect he makes things seem. You want to be there for him, and it's the only way you can really feel comfortable expecting the same in return.
Are you having trouble communicating? Talk to a psychic for guidance. Call
1.800.573.4784 or
click here now.