"Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad…"
-Al Green
There is good news out there for the marrying kind. Despite gloomy U.S. divorce statistics, there are still plenty of happily married couples out there. And though there is no sure-fire way to tell if a marriage will last, there are key elements that all successful marriages depend on. In our top three, you'll probably discover areas where you and your partner excel, as well as ones where you could stand to make some improvements. If you're still reading this article, consider it a good sign. After all, one of the key elements needed to make a marriage work is your commitment to it.
One key to a lasting marriage
If only the bills paid themselves and the groceries miraculously appeared in the fridge it would save many couples a lot of head (and heart!) aches. Smart couples that don't want to have disputes over money talk about it. Fiscal responsibility is one key to a happy marriage. Fiscally responsible couples…
- Will agree on their fair share of financial responsibilities for both minor and major expenses. Keep in mind, it's not always necessary and often not even possible for responsibilities to be equal (since one person in a marriage often makes more money than the other), but it's usually best if they are shared
- Will discuss, agree on and work together to accomplish short and long-term financial goals
- Will arrange to have money that each can spend on their own, so that neither ever has to feel guilty about asking for money
- Will willingly establish and stick to a budget when the purse strings are tight
Another one
In a successful marriage both parties devote the time and energy required to make the health of their marriage priority number one. In other words, they are commited to the marriage. Commitment means…
- Caring about your spouse's welfare as much as your own
- Quality time with your spouse trumps hanging out with friends or taking on yet another job assignment
- Working together in the face of unexpected changes like illness, the death of a loved one or job loss, and strengthening your marriage by doing so.
The most important one
If you and your spouse talk regularly and openly about what's going on with both of you, individually and as a couple, that's a good sign. Staying in touch with what's important in your marriage by sharing your thoughts and feelings is one of the keys to success. Poor communication (accusations, misunderstandings, personal attacks, yelling, failure to communicate at all) can lead to the kind of problems that break up marriages. Couples that develop good communication skills thrive. Great communicators…
- Are less interested in winning the argument, and more interested in solving the problem
- Try to clear up a misunderstanding before overreacting to it
- Listen and make an effort to hear what the other person is saying
- May not see eye-to-eye but can still respect one another's opinions
- Regularly discuss problems and issues they feel are important
- Don't hold grudges and quickly forgive each other
Of course, love is another key element, but we have taken that as a given. If you've got love and work to strengthen these three key elements, you'll create a marriage in which that love can bloom year round - year after year.
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