Listen up, gentlemen! The women have spoken when it comes to sex and the following are some lessons we wish you would learn. Master these principles and you'll be a better lover... and leave her wanting more!
Ladies, consider leaving this one up on the screen for him to read!
Foreplay is muy importante!
Unless it's a quickie (which should not always be the case!), don't just go for the gold! The work up is an integral part of lovemaking! Ideally, foreplay should be an all-day, ongoing affair. If the thought scares you, don't worry. An all day affair does not mean you have to make out literally all day. It means you need to learn to incorporate the power of suggestion into areas you wouldn't normally consider sexual. This is because women, as a general rule, have a broader range of activities that will arouse them... and the longer you work them, the better you'll do.
Try this:
Build up the anticipation throughout the day in order to enjoy a hot passion-filled night. Foreplay can encompass a wide range of activities: sending your lover a naughty text message, slipping a note in her lunch or delighting her with some Gerber daisies. Don't be afraid to tell her you find something she does sexy. Even a suggestive look can go a long way - especially if it's something secret the two of you share in a room filled with people. These small but essential things build trust and keep love from wilting.
Moving to the bedroom...
Why is it that many men don't use their hands to really explore a woman's body? Don't kiss and go straight for the panties with a short detour at her breasts. If you are to blame for this kind of unbecoming behavior, spend time touching her, massaging her and loving her entire body. Use your hands; a woman loves a man with dexterous hands and alas, most women need prolonged stimulation to reach complete arousal. Don't feel inadequate because of this - it's just a fact. Enjoy it!
Don't roll over and pass out immediately after sex!!!
While it may take a Herculean effort to stay awake, you have to at least try. Consider that during lovemaking, a woman has let you inside of her -- both physically and figuratively. So it's no wonder she usually likes to nuzzle or share sweet words afterward. It's difficult when a woman goes to fetch a towel and returns to find her man already in dreamland. Ladies, if this does happen, keep in mind that he has just lost his "chi" and as a result, he gets sleepy. Very sleepy. According to Taoists, the only reason one should ejaculate or allow the loss of Chi to occur is for the purpose of having children. Whether this makes sense to you or not, redirecting sexual energy (sex without the man ejaculating) results in awesome lovemaking and allows him to use his energy to heal and rejuvenate the both of you.
Share the responsibility for birth control.
Don't give her a hard time for using a condom or pressure her to go on the pill. First, the pill works differently with differnt women and if she is concerned about using synthetic hormones you should applaud her awareness! Help buy the condoms and share in any costs. This tip may also mean going with her to the gynecologist if she wants you to. Take a genuine interest.
See your fingers for what they are: fingers!
In the heat of the moment, resist the temptation of using your fingers as though you were excavating for gold. Fingers are pointier than penises -- especially if you have nails. Ow! If you really want to please her, bend your second and third fingers and feel around for her G-spot. Purposely slow down as the intensity speeds up. If she gets excited this doesn't mean you should go faster. Build the tension. Whatever way you approach the endeavor, before you reach for her, use the nail cutter first and always wash your hands!
Be prepared to go the distance when you go down.
Women enjoy it when men go down on them but it often takes a while to get comfortable and receive. A man, meanwhile, must be gentle and patient and realize that the vagina is like a flower that literally opens up and blossoms. The tongue is a very sexy organ so use it -- and don't forget that the vagina itself doesn't have enough nerve endings for orgasms to occur. Therefore clitoral action is imperative.
Be gentle... at least where it counts!
Have you ever had a man twist your nipples so hard you thought he was trying to tune into the latest episode of the Sopranos? Sinking your teeth into skin is even more painful. I remember a man once who bit my butt cheek so hard, he made me bleed. "You're like a juicy steak," he then said. I asked him and his incisors to please leave...
After all, guys, perhaps one of the most important things you can remember if you want to be a better lover is this: Women are not pieces of meat!
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