"I can't live without your love..." "I won't last a day without you..." "I can't live, if livin' is without you..." Do you sing songs like these? Too many people do. Did you know romantic love is not technically an emotion - it's a compulsion? And that the newly in love brain resembles that of one high on an opiate - you know, like heroin? Which is why so many people literally get hooked on love.
It's in Mother Nature's interest to get us all hooked on love, for the sake of keeping humans reproducing and the ongoing survival of our species. So it's wired into us - it's healthy and natural to have that "I can't live without this person" stage of a relationship. It's just that lots of people get stuck there, and have that feeling for partners who are not good for them. In the process of bonding in this way they abandon themselves and compromise what they need to be happy, to only end up feeling miserable, powerless, and bad about themselves for who knows how long.
Sound familiar? If so, then be sure to listen this to
Enlightening Relationships this week as we interview Jane Doe (obviously not her real name), a woman in recovery for sex and love addiction. Jane will explain to us just what the disorders of sex and love addiction are, how they are different, what the many myths and misunderstandings of them involve (no - you don't have to have tons of sex with anonymous partners to be a sex addict, for example - a late night "booty call" with a guy or gal that treats you like crap but you can't resist counts, too!), and best of all how they can be healed.
This is serious stuff - sex and love addiction runs rampant in modern society, and it affects millions of people, keeping them from possibly ever having the positive, healthy romantic relationships they crave - and thus the happy family lives they'd like to create. The side effects of this often include depression, drug use, sexual abuse, child abuse, divorce, and on and on...
At their most extreme, these addictions can be every bit as deadly as an addiction to drugs or alcohol. And Jane will tell us why, and what the average "Jane" and "Joe" can do to break free of such heartbreaking, self-esteem sapping behavior. A few suggestions include reading books (highly respected titles include
Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie,
Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody, and
Is It Love Or Is It Addiction? by Brenda Schaeffer), seeking therapy with professionals who treat these issues, and group recovery work.
So quit singing your sad songs and tune in, call in, and be Enlightened.
Click here to listen to this week's Enlightening Relationships program